///hear me roar///

Wednesday, September 26, 2001

lalala ... i'm so happy lately. ever since dan and i broke up, and i came to all those realizations, and we got back together... life's been different :) its been great. and i've been getting so close to sarika, i love her! she's really been there for me. on the weekends we go out a lot; me, dan, sarika, sanjeev (sarika's brother), and lottie. i've given the frat party a chance, and i've discovered that they can be fun :) i'm usually sober, and i just dance! i always wear my big rave pants though, and when rave music comes on sarika and i are the center of attention. not that we wanna be :P but its always a good time. when you go for cool reasons, and with awesome people, it doesn't really matter where you are, its a blast. we've also gone to the club downtown a few times, and dance like crazy. they play a lot more rave type music at the club, so that's fun. so yeah, with a couple exceptions, that's mainly what i've been doing on the weekends.

then we have the weekdays. i'm working my ass off in school this semester, its great. i'm doing so well, and really staying on top of things. i actually look forward to going to class, imagine that! :P and its a really good thing, too, because next week is going to kill me...

things with dan and i couldn't be better. there were a few days when i was feeling some doubt, it felt like something was missing from the relationship. i eventually figured out what it was: dependence. i have never before been in a relationship where i didn't depend on the guy for *everything*. so now that i'm so liberated and independent, it felt weird. if this makes any sense. there was this huge part missing, but once i realized what it was, i could begin working on getting past it. sarika really helped me out, she asked one question: "do you love him?" to which my answer was "of course, more than anything". she said that that's all that matters and that things would iron themselves out as long as we love each other. so over the last day or two, i've really been getting used to the type of relationship i now find myself in. and i swear, i've never been happier, with anyone.

i've actually never been happier at any stage of my life, ever. things are so great, life is great. and even if bad times plague you, there are always good ones to remember ;)
Jessica 9:37 PM