///hear me roar///

Monday, November 12, 2001

i guess i should blog at some point, huh?

i started my new job on thursday. at first it was hard, but it's getting easier and easier, and the money's good. however, those 7pm - 3am shifts this weekend really killed me, completely screwed up my sleeping and eating schedule, and i've felt kinda sick since. bleh. i work tomorrow 3 - 11pm. but the money's so good that it really doesn't matter.

i'm having a hard time trusting girls lately. isn't this silly? don't girls usually have a hard time trusting boys? but to be honest, i've been fucked over by female friends a million times more than i have by males, be them friends or boyfriends. don't get me wrong, i've had my share of boyfriends that were complete dicks... but i've never had a male friend screw me over, or break my heart. and i've had *so* many female friends that really killed me. so as i sit here in new friendships or on the brink of friendships with females, i find myself questioning their sincerity. it's awful, i don't wanna do that, but i really can't help it. girls are bitches. period. and it's really hard for me to realize that there are some out there that really do care. it's took me a year of *living* with liz to fully trust her friendship. ugh, i'm so afraid that this will get in the way of real, lasting friendships. i'm almost subconscious, i don't even realize i'm doing it sometimes.

anyway... just some thoughts running around in my head. i really need some sleep. a very very long day and night tomorrow... goodnight.
Jessica 10:43 PM