///hear me roar///

Tuesday, November 27, 2001

i had a really nice thanksgiving break. did lots of relaxing, spent a lot of really nice quality time with dan, the whole family went to new jersey for the weekend for a bar mitzfah and we had a blast. i would include the details, but that's not the reason i'm blogging, just thought i should catch you up.

for some reason, i've have felt like total shit today. this is the closest i've felt to my old depression since i was "cured". ugh, it sucks. where the hell is this coming from?!? i don't do this anymore, i'm not depressed anymore. yet here i am, more depressed than i've felt in a long time.

i don't know, maybe it's being back here after such a wonderful break? having so much work to do, so much pressure on me, not enough time, stress Stress STRESS. i bet that's it. that's probably also the cause of my headaches. blah, being back at school sucks. and i'm so lazy, i've honestly sat here in my chair doing absolutely nothing *all day*! how sad is that? there are a million things i could've and should've been doing. really. grrrrr.

i think one thing that's got me down is that i've been thinking lately, and i only have 2 pretty good friends. i have a couple other decent friends, and that's it. is that the "normal" amount? is there a "normal" number of friends? i just feel like no one's ever around when i want someone to eat with, or someone to just chill with, i never do that. the only time any of my friends wanna see me is when they wanna go somewhere. whatever happened to just chillin, talking, laughing, that kinda thing? i dunno, i just feel like i have no friends lately. no one i can really go crazy with, be silly, and just laugh. blah.

i lack social skills. among a lot of other things, but this is the one i'm focusing on right now.
Jessica 2:49 PM