///hear me roar///

Thursday, January 31, 2002

this might be a long one... so bear with me

i finally have my car. i have insurance, tags, registration and title in my name, a parking permit... and the car is actually in my possesion. man, it's so great to have a car, it really is. it's very convienant. i need to go somewhere? i just go. :-P the day i got it (tuesday) i went to the mall with sarika and dan. me, dan, sarika and chris are all going to the midwinter's dance. (i know... imagine me, in a dress, at a formal dance -- weird). so i needed to get a dress. well i ended up getting two :) friday is formal, and saturday is semi-formal, so dan bought me two dresses and a pair of shoes. he's good to me :) everything was on major sale though, so it didn't cost him too much damage. the semi-formal dress is cute, light blue, mid-length, flowy at the bottom. the formal one... wow. it's white, very sparkly (but not sequins -- ew), and flares just a bit at my shins. it really is an absolutely gorgeous dress. i honestly don't feel that i deserve to wear it. there's no way i do that dress justice. but all in all it was a fun trip, a pretty good day.

yesterday liz and i went to wal-mart, then came back here and had blue's clues mac-n-cheese for dinner. that was fun. today i went to the pet store, hung out a lot with dan, and adam, another pretty good day. here's the thing -- i'm having these days that i know are good; full of friends and pretty good things going on. yet... i've been in this slump. i really can't figure out why i've been kinda sad :-/ at first i thought that it must be the weather, as it started on one of those cold rainy days. however, it's been unbelievably gorgeous the last couple of days... and i'm still kinda down. i dunno what's going on with me... but i wish it would just go away.

on another note -- i'm a human being. not a circus freak sideshow. please do not stare at me like i'm some kind of freak, and like i don't know you're doing it or don't have feelings. it's so damn obnoxious. i know i look a little different than the average girl (thank god!), and that i dress a little eccentrically sometimes... but that's not a reason to stare and whisper about a person. we are not in high school anymore. you'll never make it in this world if you can't accept things (people) that aren't exactly like you. this table of girls at lunch (who all looked the same) wouldn't stop staring at me, whispering, turning to look, craning their necks, judging me. god that annoys me. if only i weren't afraid of conflict... i woulda (shoulda) said something. oh well.
Jessica 10:07 PM