///hear me roar///

Tuesday, April 09, 2002

hey... most of you already know about it, but i'm gonna write about it anyway. even the people that knew about it don't know all the details, but they might not want to, as this will be the longest blog i've ever posted.

on friday evening i got out of the shower with the worse headache i had ever had in my life. it was migraine power, and very very painful. i called the shiffert health center after hours line, and talked to a nurse. she suggested i go to the er immediately. so i found adam, and he said he'd take me. so we went up there, after i messaged dan to let him know what was going on. after waiting for only a little bit, i went in to see the triage nurse. then i waited to see the doctor. once i got back there, they laid me down on a gurney and put an IV in my arm, drawing tons of blood in the process. dan, sarika, and chris showed up not too long after that, and dan and sarika came back to see me. i could see the worry all over dan's face, and in his eyes, and in his posture. i've never before been able to read someone's worry like that. but after a little while, my headache lessened, and i was sent home. they told me it was just a migrain. i was there for about three hours.

so dan, adam, and i left and went to get them some chinese food. all was well, but i was really tired and my headache was coming back. so they took me home, and i passed out almost immediately. i woke up saturday morning with a very intense headache, even worse than the one the day before. it was the most painful thing i had ever felt, i honestly felt like i was dieing. dan was there, because he came over after hanging out with adam and spent the night. he did everything in his power to make me comfortable, but nothing helped. eventually though, it became bearable, and i went on with my day. for a little while it even seemed to be gone, and i thought all was well.

but saturday evening it was back, full force. along with it were uncontrollable shakes. whole body convulsions. and sweating. and intense nausea. that was when i knew this was *not* a migraine. so adam came and got us (dan was with me) to go to the ER. but instead we went to adam's. i stopped crying, and that helped the headache a bit. adam placed a cold towel on the back of my neck and called his mom (she knows a lot about migraines and such). apparently she suggested viral meningitis, but the boys didn't wanna tell me that because they didn't wanna scare me. so once again, we rush to the ER. i'm kind of in a comatose state this whole time, not really responding to much. i remember everything going on around me, but i just stared ahead. it hurt to think, it hurt to talk, it just *hurt*.

we get to the ER, i tell them everything and that i was there the night before, the whole time shaking, and they get me back there immediately. ahead of everyone that was there when we walked in. this time they put me in my own room though. i'm still on one of those uncomfortable gurneys, but there aren't three other gurneys crammed in there. this is when i knew that they knew something was wrong. the other room is basically for the doctor to talk to the person and see if it's really something urgent.

so they immediately hook up an IV, and draw tons of blood. they gave me some drug through the IV, i don't know what it was. i calmed down a bit, the shaking subsided. the doctor said i should get a cat scan. so adam and i took out all of my facial and ear piercings (except the brand new tongue web). but before we could get them all out my headache came back full force. and the shaking. the shaking was terrible. they got a nurse in there and she gave me some shot to help the pain a bit, and to relax me (for the shaking). at this point i was crying and really incredibly miserable. the shaking was almost worse than the headache. my whole body was convulsing, and i couldn't stop it... i don't know why, but it drove me crazy. i was so miserable. that was the worse it got, that's when it peaked. then at some point i got more medicine, some morphine. i don't exactly remember when or what was going on, but i know it was before the cat scan. i was pretty drugged up at this point.

so we eventually calmed down enough to get the last two piercings out, and i was wheeled off to the cat scan. that was nothing, i just laid there for about two minutes and it was over. i was wheeled back to the room. the morphine had really kicked in at that point, and once back in the room, i went to sleep. glorious, wonderful sleep. dan came back in at some point, i don't know. i remember him being there, but everything was kinda though a haze. but everytime i woke up he was right there, looking at me, his face so full of concern. eventually the doctor came back with some results... the lab work (blood) all came back just fine. and the cat scan was completely normal. so he said there was one last thing that we needed to do -- a spinal tap. i didn't like the sound of that at all.

so they moved me to another room, with a bright overhead light. i had to put on a gown, and i sat on the side of the bed and leaned over a table, my back was exposed and arched. the doctor put in a numbing shot, and then did the spinal tap. i think all the number does is numb the surface. i didn't feel it go in, but once it was in, i felt it. i can't even explain what it felt like. it was *very* weird and uncomfortable. this needle is very very long, and he just kept pushing it farther and farther in. and a couple of times it was really painful. well he couldn't get any fluid the first time, so he did it twice more. it was awful :( my back was actually sore for days afterwards.

anyway, i go back to my room, and at some point i think i got more drugs, or maybe this is when i got the morphine, i really don't remember. but i know i got something because i remember not being able to feel my back, and that was wonderful. we eventually get the results back, and it turns out adam's mom was right: viral meningitis. but viral isn't the terrible one, it's bacterial that will kill you. viral just needs time to let your body fight off the infection.

so i get up to a regular room at about 5:50am. we arrived in the ER at 9pm. and during that time the clocks changed, so it was actually 7 hours, not 8. but still. once up there i was much more comfortable, the bed was much nicer. i was drugged up and everything was fuzzy, i don't remember too much. but i remember making dan leave at about 7am. he needed the sleep, there was nothing he could possibly do. and adam was more than ready to leave :) he had also been there the whole time. sarika and chris also came to visit while i was down in the ER, but i don't remember details.

so i ended up spending saturday night, all day sunday, and sunday night. with the IV, some nice nurses, and decent room service. oh, and a TV with animal planet on the entire time. i got some percocet and that was good for knocking me out. i have a prescription for that too. on saturday, everyone came to visit. liz brought me my nice stuffed lion, reth. and some clean underwear and pj's! that was nice :) and dan brought me some daffodils, my favorite :)

i came home from the hospital yesterday afternoon. i was told to limit my activities, and to come back if the headaches come back like they were. so far i'm ok. just sleeping a lot, i'm nauseous, and have a slight headache. they said it takes about a week to be completely better. so i'm resting a lot, and just taking it easy.

i can't express how much it meant to have dan right by my side the entire time. he was so great. and i didn't like seeing the worry on his face, but it meant a lot. he's so wonderful... i love that boy to death. he made me cry last night:

GimeeFish (11:40:18 PM): when you were in teh er and they drugged you up and stuffs
GimeeFish (11:41:03 PM): i was talking to you and you were talking back and then i said i loved you but you didn't respond because you were zoned out too much and i had to go to the bathroom to keep from crying
GimeeFish (11:41:08 PM):because i didn't like seeing you like that

this whole experience would've been a million times worse without my friends being there. thanks liz, sarika, adam, and dan. you guys are incredible friends :)
Jessica 10:22 AM