///hear me roar///

Monday, August 27, 2001

well here i am!! at tech at last! woohoo! i got here thursday and got all moved in, then liz came in on friday. i was so happy to see her!! i really missed her this summer. and then sunday was my birthday :) so liz and i lounged around, and then went to the bus station to get dan around 5:30 (after being lost in christiansburg!). then we went to wal-mart, and that evening liz, dan, travis and i went to applebee's for my birthday :) over all it was a nice birthday, spent with people i really care about. then only person i really missed was adam :( he was house sitting in floyd, a whole hour away. ((oh yeah, liz and i went out there sat night and grilled burgers and went walking, fun stuff).

so today was the first day of classes :) so far everything seems like its going to be a lot of fun :) i like all my classes and professors, so far. i'm excited about school! and this afternoon i walked over to hilcrest and finished up my paperwork for my job. i start tomorrow! yay! so everything seems to be falling into place right now *contented sigh*

and did i mention, i really love my boy? :)
Jessica 12:05 PM

Tuesday, August 21, 2001

sorry its been a few days. dan's last day of work was this past friday, and with him around the house i'm not on the computer much ;)

not too much has been going on, really. went shopping a few times, dan bought me some new clothes and a couple other things :) and a couple nights age (saturday) we went to an opera, the entire family. that was cool... i had never been to one. we went to wolf trap and saw "the marriage of figaro". it was very good, and those people have incredible voices. it was nice, but a bit long in my opinion (4 hours!).

yesterday was really nice :) dan and i went to the mall in the afternoon, just for something to do. we basically just walked around, looking at stuff. so then we came home, and we ate dinner, and all that good stuff. then judy and nicole started to clean up the dishes from the table, and dan's mom went into the kitchen. a few seconds later, all three come out, and everyone starts singing happy birthday!! dan's mom had a red velvet cake (my favorite) with two candles and "happy birthday jessica" written on it :) i actually got tears in my eyes, can you believe that? i'm such a girl sometimes. as if that weren't sweet enough, i then got presents!! from the family, i got two really awesome lion books. very very cool :) and from dan i got a pair of doc martens!! i've been wanting these boots since 8th grade, but i've never been able to afford them. and now i have a pair, ooooooooo, they're so pretty!! yay dan! so that was really nice! and its not my birthday *yet* but yesterday was the best opportunity to celebrate it.

so i put on my boots, and they were too big :( so dan and i rushed into georgetown, where he bought them, and exchanged them. i've been wearing them ever since :) (but of course, my feet are *killing* me trying to break them in!). when we got back, two of dan's friends were here. we eventually got a couple more people together, and all went bowling. the guys were really cocky, but of course i blew all four of them away with my 139 :P hehe, i like the one guy's excuse: "they have a better lane than us!!" it was fun.

then today i went and got my license renewed. it expires in 10 days. so i finally have a new license. and its actually a decent picture! :P imagine that....

also, i've gotten things pretty much cleared up with the school. they have all the paperwork they need, and it looks like i'll be able to go to school this semester after all!! yay!!

i think i should go entertain my man now.... :)
Jessica 1:44 PM

Thursday, August 16, 2001

so i finally took my first fall on my blades.... it had to happen sometime, right? hehe. i was out blading yesterday, and there's this really long hill, and at the end there's a sharp left (i like going around the block so i don't get lost :P). so i always brake all the way down the hill, that way i'm going relatively slow when i have to make this turn. well i finally decided that the only way i was going to conquer the hill was to just take it! so i come around the corner, and the hill begins, and i start picking up speed. but i don't brake. i just let it take me... by the time i get down towards the turn, i'm really flying. so i try to make the turn without slowing down, and i kinda spin around and take a nasty fall. my jeans completely rip open at the knee (they're pretty much shreaded) and my knee has no more skin. it was burning, but i could handle it, so i keep blading for about 30 min after the fall (but i never did go back to that hill :P). when i get home, i look down, and my jeans are soaked in blood, and my knee is basically a bloody pulp. so i shower, bandage it up, etc etc. it hurt a lot more after i took care of it! it was even hard sleeping, with it throbbing. and it keeps soaking through the bandages with blood. but i think i'll go blading again today, stiff knee and all :) you'll never get anywhere if you don't take risks (in rollerblading or otherwise!).
Jessica 6:28 AM

Wednesday, August 15, 2001

yeah i know, i haven't posted in a couple of days. i've been kinda blah. if you don't understand why, take a quick look at my last post.

new york was definitely fun, though! i had never been in a big city before, it was exciting. we went and saw les miserables on broadway, that was amazing! i love theatre, so i really enjoyed that a lot. and we were in times square several times throughout the day, and we went to the top of the empire state building at night. that was incredible. from every side, as far as i could see, were big buildings and lights. it was exciting... i felt so... small, and insignificant. not really in a bad way, nor in a good way. i can't explain it. it was an incredible feeling though, like i was on top of the world. let's see... and we went and ate in a really nice restaurant in new york, that was cool. it was yummy. and the waiter hit on me!! hehe. we spent aaall day in new york on saturday, it was fun. we made the drive home on sunday... but its not bad when you have someone to snuggle with in the back seat ;)

so i've been feeling like crap, and dan's been so wonderful to me. on monday dan came home from work early and brought me flowers :) it was so sweet!! and then we went to the movies and saw "the others". it was a really cool movie! very spooky, i liked it a lot! then yesterday he drug me out to the swimming pool to splash around before dinner, and after to dinner we went out with his sisters and watched "american pie 2". it was funny, but not as good as the first :) but i liked it. so basically he's been doing a wonderful job of trying to keep my spirits up, and he's trying to rub some of his optimism off on me :P i don't think that's working, but the cheering up has definitely been well received and appreciated. i love dan so much... i really don't know what i'd do without him!
Jessica 10:18 AM

Monday, August 13, 2001

god... yesterday was absolutely awful... new york was nice, by the way, but i'll elaborate on that later. i'm not really in the mood to be happy about much. so we come home from ny, and there's this big envelope for me, adam forwarded all my mail to me. one thing was a letter from tech. since i failed last semester, they have retracted all my financial aid. so, no school for jessica. there's a way to appeal it, but it has to be within 30 days of the letter i got. and i have to call all these people, and get copies of all this stuff mailed to me, and then i have to mail it to people, and i know there's no way in hell for all this to happen in 30 days. and its very clear that they will *not* accept any appeal that reaches them past 30 days from the date of the letter. so basically, i'm totally fucked. and i was really looking forward to this semester, too!! i have no idea where i'm going to go, or what i'm going to do, where will i live? where will i work? my on campus job is only there if i'm a student. everything was going so well, and i was actually enjoying happiness, only to have it fucked up. god damn it! *sigh*

on top of that (if that isn't enough to send me into depression again), i found out last night from my mom that one of my uncles on my dad's side has a terminal tumor in his brain. he's dieing. he'll be dead before xmas. now, i haven't seen him in quite awhile, but when i was younger, he meant the world to me, i really looked up to him. he's so young, only 37. and he's dieing. i suddenly miss him more than usual... not surprising i guess. and there are already being plans made for the funeral! isn't that morbid? i mean, i guess it has to be done, but damn it, he's not dead *yet*!! uuughhh.

so yeah, basically, i'm really depressed right now. i think i'll go jump off a building.


Jessica 7:33 AM

Friday, August 10, 2001

yay!! i haven't blogged about this yet, but i'm going to new york for the weekend. well, actually, we're staying in new jersey in a house owned by friends of the family, but its pretty close to new york :) its me, dan, judy and nicole. its gonna be awesome. i've never been to a big city, and now i'm going to one of the biggest! i'm excited. we're leaving today, as soon as dan gets here (any minute), then we're gonna go pick up nicole, and hit the road. we'll get there tonight, and maybe go into the city tonight, then spend all day tomorrow in new york, and a bit of sunday :) so i won't be online over the weekend, but leave me some messages to look forward to :P

i think the weekend away will do me some good!
Jessica 10:34 AM

Thursday, August 09, 2001

so last night i laid in dan's arms and cried. for some reason, i feel really alone lately. i have no one here except dan. and don't get me wrong, i love him more than i've ever loved anyone or anything... but a girl needs more than just her boyfriend to talk to, ya know? i talked a lot to trissy last night, that was nice. we joked around about starting a club, heh. for people like us with serious problems and basically no support. i don't know, i just feel extremely alone. i just want someone to open up to! someone to talk to, someone to kinda share my life with, ya know? talk about everyday things, even... and when i need it, someone to listen to me when i'm upset. i share everything with dan, but i feel bad, i feel like i'm dumping on him. and i know its not healthy to rely on one person for emotional support. i don't know, i just feel like i have no real friends... i make them, and then i loose them, so quickly and so easily! i feel like there's something wrong with me, i hardly ever feel as if i'm valuable to anyone. argh. i just want someone to talk to..... maybe i'm just being blah because it's that time of the month, i don't know. but i've been thinking about this a lot, and it makes me sad.

on another note, nothing really happened today. played video games, went to nicole's and waited for the cable guy, yadda yadda yadda. but did i talk to anyone... nope.
Jessica 5:21 PM

Wednesday, August 08, 2001

yay!! i re-did my blog, obviously :) picked a nifty looking template and made some customizations. now it rocks, very pretty :) lemme know whatcha think!
Jessica 12:38 PM

well, i'm back in arlington. we got back yesterday around 5:30. we had a really nice time :) it was kinda hectic though, because we were trying to fit so much stuff and so much family into only a couple of days. we got there sat evening, around 7-7:30. we immediatly went over to my great-grandma's house so i could see her and dan could meet her. i hadn't seen her since xmas, and she's a really great person, so that was cool. after that we went over to my grandma and pappy's house (mom's mom and stepdad). that's always cool, i'm pretty close to my grandma. then we finally went home!

we got up early sat morning and spent all day at the county fair. it was quite amusing, because even though we went north geographically, we went south as far as culture :) where my mom lives is a very rural area. most of the fair was barns, with cows, horses, goats, chickens, rabbits, lamb, sheep... i think that's it :P god, there were so many animals!! there were also a few rides, and i went on a couple kiddie rides with zack :) i love that kid, he's so cute!! we were there till around 4, then went home and ate and went back for the demolition derby. haha, dan was in for a shock. god, he loved it :) that lasted a few hours, with several heats, etc. it was all good fun. it was hilarious though, i was the center of attention at the fair, with my piercings and tattoos. everyone who walked by stared and me wide-eyed. silly hick towns :P

then on monday my mom went to work, and dan and i got up and went and picked up my brother from day care and went to my mom's work for her lunch break. afterwards me, dan, and zack went to mcdonald's, dan's treat :) it was kinda freaky though, everyone was looking at us like we were a family (mom, dad, kid), and i suppose we looked like that. eeeekk! not for a looooong time! anyway, then we kept zack with us for the rest of the day :) i love him, hehe :) and monday night we went over to my pap pap and grandma's (mom's dad and stepmom) because it was his bday. it was nice to see them.

we got up yesterday and left around noon... it was a really nice trip, but its good to be back here doing nothing!!

Jessica 11:19 AM

Saturday, August 04, 2001

dum de dum... good stuff happening! right now dan is helping is sister move into her new apartment. he's gotta help carry the big heavy stuff. luckily, i get to sit here on my butt! but the good stuff is that after he's done, around noon or one or something, we're going to ohio! yay! so i gotta pack for us, and shower and stuff. we're going to be there until tuesday, dan's taking two days off work. i'm excited! i get to see my family! i miss them lots.

not much has been really going on, but a couple nights ago dan took me out to dinner to this nice place called "bistro bistro". it was *so* yummy! i put on my nifty indian wrap-around skirt and a black tank-top... so i was dressed up for me!! it was really nice, he's so sweet :) we even had desert :P

so i'm gonna go now and pack while people are moving stuff. i probably won't blog again till wednesday. i'll be spending time with my people :)
Jessica 7:34 AM

Wednesday, August 01, 2001

hi :) sorry i haven't posted in awhile. although the only person that reads this is my boy, when he's bored at work (love ya hon).

so i've been thinking a lot lately about people, and how much they suck basically. i don't think i'll go on about it here, you never know when you'll offend people. although, why should i care?? at any rate, i'm tired and so is dan and we're going to bed soon, so i can't blog long anyway :) lots of new philosophies have been coming up, and being discussed. fun stuff.

today was cool! when dan came home from work he drug me outside and we went walking. i wasn't feeling very happy, but by the time we got home i was all grins :) we walked around the neighboorhood and then got on the playground swings for a little while, like little kids, it was great :)

after dinner, around 8ish, richard came over and demanded that we were going with him to georgetown. i had never been, so i was kinda excited. we went to this fucking awesome punk/goth store, and dan bought me this awesome shirt! its black and has greyish bullets crisscrossing the whole front, it has really short sleeves with square studs around them. its so great. i swear, if i were rich, i'd throw my entire woredrobe out and replace it with stuff from there. lots of cool clothes, belts, collars, etc. then we went to this "adult" store, called "the pleasure place" :) you can guess what kind of stuff they had! they even had a separate room with bondage and s&m stuff... ooooo, it was cool. so dan bought me this little oufit, *very* little, with metal rings attaching parts and stuff, its cooooool. we also got some black fuzzy handcuffs. fun stuff! so yah, then we pretty much left georgetown, everything was closing. but i got a cool shirt and fun toys for me and my boy! yuuummm! and as i was leaving the adult store, i was thinking that adam would love it! so, adam, ya gotta come up sometime and go to this store, its incredible! much bigger and better than that place we went to in bburg :P

so yah, that sums up my day, it was nice. and now my boy is laying down, with his tighty whitey clad butt looking at me :P gotta go snuggle, goodnight!!
Jessica 8:37 PM